Nights like this make me think of her the one I lost, the one that can always make me smile, the one that was always there for me....I miss her but there's no way in bringing her back. I never thought the day would come when me and her would be over...*sigh* I keep on thinking in all the great times we had together and all the good and bad memories we shared. I love her so much, but she's moved on and devoloped new feelings for someone else.....I'm so depressed right now but I keep all that to myself I act normal around everyone else but i keep all these feelings to myself. It was all my fault and i regret it for being so stupid....I miss her...*sigh* i never thought that i'd be in so much depression but i control everything by listening to music cause that's all that keeps me sane right now music is the only thing that reaches down inside of me and show exactly what i feel and most times you can relate to some songs. I lay under the night sky and just listen to music. I can listen to it for hours and hours and just think. The only reason I don't do it as often is because my parents would think i'm crazy. So yeah i feel so sad right now it's just to hard to explain how sad I am...*with luck things will get better...sigh* well that's all for now later...

I know it's been a while since i've typed on this thing and well a lot has happened since then and since i'm here right now i guess i'll tell you most of it. Things have changed since last year I hang around with the twins, adrian, and mikey more now. I'm in high school now and i guess it's okay. I'm no longer going out with jenny witch really sucks because i can't stop thinking of her although i know i probably won't get the chance to go out with her again there's still hope right? Well things happen for a reason and this time it happened cause of me if not of a simple mistake i could have still been going out with her. I miss her so much but i know i won't get a second chance which really sucks becaused i loved her so much and last night i couldn't get to sleep cause i thought about all the good times we had, all the hours we talked on the phone, and all the times we spend laughing together. (sigh) Well anyways i just got back from the twins party. Freakin Tony tripped me and i landed on my neck i heard it crack but i felt no pain(although i was pretty dizzy after that). With any luck i'm gonna go see My Chemical Romance live in Meza!!! i'm pretty excited about it. I have a pretty big headache right now but goes and then comes back so i kinda hate that. I saw Alba today at the party i hadn't seen for quite a while so that was kind of cool. I miss her so much!!! i know feeling depressed won't do anything to help but when you lose the person you love it's kind of hard. I keep on thinking back to stuff like Halloween and the Halloween dance at school, all the times we went to the movies together, the conversations we had(and the way we used to be able to talk for hours even on a stupid subject), and the most important part...her. Well i've made my point so like i'll type more later. see ya!! e_e

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